Nurturing a Child’s Generous Spirit

Almost all parents are surprised and sometimes appalled at their children’s selfishness. The “I wants” and the “Gimmes” start before Thanksgiving. Almost all kids are wowed by the glitz of advertising that is targeted at them. Many kids spend an inordinate amount of time working and re-working their wish lists. Total strangers ask them, “What do you want for Christmas?” The focus really is on getting.

Developmentally speaking, “wanting” is normal. Children under four or five are pretty selfish – they are actually incapable of much more than an occasional token act of sympathy or empathy. Seeing things from another’s point of view isn’t possible until about seven years old. Most parents realize that their kids are oblivious to the sacrifices their parents make for them until they have kids of their own, or at least until they move out to live on their own.

But year after year, parents are shocked by their kids’ greed, and they’re baffled about what to do about it. Just because this egocentric attitude is predictable doesn’t mean that parents should accept it. With some effort and attention to detail, a generous spirit and a concern for others can be cultivated and nurtured.

You are the best example! You teach your child everyday. Be sure to take the opportunity to talk about generosity and thankfulness. (Wasn’t that nice of Maria to remember that you like lemon cookies? She made them because you were coming for lunch.)

Get ready for the holidays by communicating with other adults in your family and develop a plan. Create opportunities for kids to be thoughtful. Tailor these ideas to suit your child and your family.

Deal with Greed
– Limit the exposure your kids have to advertising – especially television.

– Limit your kids to a specified number of items on their wish lists. (Wish lists are not guarantees – they are simply a list of wishes…)

– Make sure that kids know that Santa has limits too! Santa will only bring gifts that parents agree with!

– Involve your children in holiday preparations like getting your home ready for family and guests.

– Create your own traditions. Find out what they remember from years past. For kids, family traditions are important and can be established quickly.

Nurture a Giving Spirit
– Involve your kids in making gifts and cards. Help them think about each person and what he/she would like. (A picture of birds for a bird-loving grandpa.)

– Help kids sort through toys and clean them up for donation. Do this well before Christmas, so they can be distributed in time for the holiday.

– Help kids prepare donations to a food pantry or collecting food for their school food drive.

– Prepare little ornaments, cookie bags or surprises for neighbors, elderly people in nursing homes or for people in shelters or hospitals.

For more information, call Peg at 608-280-0744.

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